About mid-way through my second year of learning how to design things, I became incredibly curious about the dynamics of power and control. Design factors were taught to be used as a path for influencing emotions and behaviors. I was so deeply drawn towards this phenomenon that, in my quest for truth, I used the power of designing my own environment to take control of my health.

Seven years later, I became a Violence Prevention Specialist. The focus of that training: power and control. People exert power over others through patterned intimidation and control. Similar to design, the path involves emotions and behaviors. Even though the dark triad personality is a predictor of emotional manipulators, control agents can be anyone.

The lesson: both design and people are powerful influences. Awareness of what you have total control of can empower you to make deliberate choices that reflect the reality that you’re the owner of you. And to control what you can actually control.

Having a safe support system is crucial when it’s time to talk through your challenges. Honest, compassionate people that listen to understand you can help explore the dynamics of control in your life. 

A normal and natural part of change is shifting from the comfort of contemplation to willfully prioritizing actionable work. Structuring the necessary support is incredibly beneficial in matters of change. 

Here’s a link to a helpful worksheet to determine what your current control conditions are. Buddy up with a pal to test your evidence. If you’re currently experiencing any form of violence or abuse, or you have in the past, consider reaching out to rainn.org or thehotline.org.

I’m here to support you, too.