Give up trying.
It’s back-to-school season! Some friends of mine have been reflecting on memories of their school days.
One story involved Paul, a third grade teacher. Paul didn’t force students to sit still in their seats. He accepted the wiggles, impromptu standing, and even lounging on the floor.
Paul’s compassion for his students taught them to trust their body in his classroom. What he may or may not have known is that it also lowered their levels of stress.
An attitude of acceptance of what’s happening in the moment, plus calmly trusting your body, can lower your stress. “Trying” is about mindset. Trusting is about acceptance. When stress is lowered by giving up trying, it can paradoxically make it easier for your body to do what it’s capable of. The worrying mindset or feelings of intimidation are relieved. This pairs with being self-compassionate.
A few experiments for you:
Rather than trying to fall asleep, accept that your body is capable of it. Meditate on the comfortable sensations you’re experiencing (e.g. textures, temperature, lighting, etc)
Rather than trying to burn more calories when exercising, calmly trust the wisdom of your body to do that. Reduce the impact of a missed workout by changing your mindset about it (e.g. focus on choosing better foods, getting enough sleep, promoting recovery/rest during work, etc).