Relationships By Unstable Expectations Creates Danger

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Has Hollywood identified your ideal relationship? It did me. In 1999 Santa introduced me to Sex in the City. I got the full first season on VHS and those girls had me 15 minutes into Episode One. I was hooked!

Freedom and vulnerability between women is like clean air to my lungs. These dynamics in friendship is euphoric:

Miranda: Why didn’t I use a condom?
Carrie: You didn’t use a condom?
Miranda: He has one ball, and I have a lazy ovary! In what twisted world does that create a baby? It’s like the Special Olympics of conception.

Although, setting up the ‘ideal’ relationship with expectations creates danger. No one is perfect.

Consider an existing role within a quarrelsome friendship. Flush out all evidence of expectations of that person.

What is the advantage to being in this relationship?

Relationships are two or more individuals who are present, actively listen, and vulnerably share. If an existing relationship is time spent mentally role playing through set expectations within the confines of a skull its a rebellion to authenticity. The greatest representation of perfection is an idol. How many of your idols are your best friends?

Mayo Clinic’s Doctor Creagan on the subject:

I’m reminded of the old line, “80 percent of life is just showing up.” To me, this means the power of being present and available. You don’t have to have all the answers or say something profound. Your physical presence has a healing dimension.

Flush out expectations to embrace simply being present. Life evolves in a healthy direction with this strategy to living.

Try one of these dare-to-be-vulnerable moments:
  • Have a board game on hand or tote one to a visit. Children games aren’t time-consuming but can be, if peace-making is in the works.
  • Long distance? Read a book together to create a connection; compare opinions chapter by chapter.
  • Home projects with rest breaks…or skip a home project to share the often missed rest break.

What activity works for you to break down expectations for valuable, vulnerable moments?