One common source of stress is not being heard. This takes form in many ways with similar outcomes including a blow to morale. Below are performance strategies following the biological breakdown of how to respond when it appears no one is listening.
The Iceberg Effect is a metaphor to the state of health.
There is typically a slight view to one’s perceived state of health.The motivational level is secluded to peers who dwell or are invited to be a part of that health aspect.The meaning realm is the soul. It’s the most intimate interpersonal relationship between health, body, and mind.
Active listening is a learned skill.
State of health improves with active listening. Behavior responses resolve the degree of difficulty to becoming an active listener. Responses when no one is listening reveals state of health.
WORDS BUILD RELATIONSHIPS.
Work on active responses improves awareness to listening habits. Responses may build trust, honor, and respect in relationships. “Good listeners overcome their natural inclination to fix the other’s problems and to keep the conversation brief,” says Doctor Graham Bodie.
Listed below are 16 listening responses. Identify which are habitual responses to practice improving each.
- RESTATING Frequently repeating what you believed to hear through paraphrasing. “To be sure I’m understanding…”
- SUMMARINZING Identifying the key points to ensure correct understanding. “So it sounds like…”
- MINIMAL ENCOURAGERS Verbal prompts to reassure you’re following along. “Oh?” “I understand.”
- REFLECTING A response that identifies the feelings shared. “It sounds frightful for you…”
- GIVING FEEBACK Sharing your first impression of a matter, including observations and experiences, confirmed by listening to their response.
- EMOTION LABELING Objectify what’s heard by identifying their feelings. “The tone of your voice shows the amount of anger you have.”
- PROBING Questions may draw deeper insight. “Why do you believe there are…”
- VALIDATION A genuine response that validates the information shared. “I’m encouraged that you…”
- EFFECTIVE PAUSE This emphasizes relevant points with silence to affirm the importance of what was said.
- SILENCE Quiet moments slow the pace of conversation, diffuses pointless chatter. It provides time to think between talking.
- “I” MESSAGES ‘I’ statements center conversation on the problem, addressing your feelings verses them. “What you have to say is important to me but I need to…”
- REDIRECTING Direct attention to a new topic when a conversation becomes inappropriate.
- CONSEQUENCES Draw light on potential issues of inaction with a fact shared but posed as a possible consequence. “Where did that end in your last attempt?”
The communication blockers listed below avoid emotionally connecting:
- Asking ‘Why’
- Quick verbal reassurance
- Digging for information
ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDLY.
Being physically present is often more effective then being heard in a conversation. Gestures and facial expressions are two actions that engage conversation.
Try this self-observation check-in before a conversation:
- Suitable environment for content of conversation
- Suitable furnishings for comfort and length of time of conversation
- Eye contact free from distraction
- In proximity to clearly hear what’s spoken
- Slight smile
- Shoulders and upper body facing the primary speaker
- Arms open in a receiving posture
- Hips and toes facing the primary speaker
THE PRIMARY DIALOGUE
Seek legal or professional help when conversations lead to verbal or physical power or control mechanisms you. Observe state of health in body, mind, and surroundings.
Self-proclaimed introvert Leigh Stringer said, “Then, amazingly, after about a minute of focused breathing, I found the mental and physical strength to figure out a new climbing route and make it to the top. For me, this was a great lesson in ‘taking a breather when things get tough.'” Often focused breathing returns state of health towards novel, yet healthier alternatives.
Try this self-observation check-in when communicating with aggressive peers:
- Rapid heart rate?
- Holding your breath?
- Visceral response…nausea or headache?
- Are thoughts positive or negative about you?
- Are thoughts positive or negative about who you’re listening to?
- Does this person have power over you?
- Is this person controlling you?
- Are you physically positioned to be engaged in the conversation?
- Do you desire to be engaged in the conversation?
The top of the iceberg is visible to all. The mystery is what is below the surface, yet these communication strategies may navigate state of health through the most overwhelming conversations.